Just some of I thought

I'll keep locked my words...

It's hard to say what I want for sure.
I had a dream, I had everythings I want, I had a wishes.
But I'll just keep it in me. Locked by my frozen heart.
No matter heats burn it all, I'll always keep my words.
Aaaah.. sometimes, I feel sick of it. Just wanna threw it away, but I can't.
Hatred of my own self was become bigger and bigger every single days.

I hate my self, I hate everythings in me, I hate anything which makes me down..

Can I tell God? Did He would listen to me?
I'm affraid He wouldn't..
Coz I'm just a sinner..

Owh.. What happen to me? Do I have my promise to be happy?
But why can't I? Still uncontrollable in me...
Where should I find it anyway?
Keep searching what I want to be.
Keep thinking what is my dreams are..
Keep trying to tell about what I want to say...

Even if ... I had nothing

*Happiness is just something what you stand for, but not you hope for...*